Darkness

Are you at peace with the dark or afraid? I was afraid growing up until one day I came to the realization that dark or light, it didn't matter: what exists in the darkness and what exists daylight is the same. The only difference is our perspective. You see, we are much more comfortable with the light because what is hidden in the darkness, is plain to see and understand. Unfortunately, our lives very rarely are clear and understandable. Instead, we find ourselves shrouded in darkness and uncertainty. While that may seem terrifying, the fact is, only in the dark can we truly be attracted to the Light.

I planned on this being a little longer, but truth be told, I just haven't been in a writing mood lately. Sorry!

Staying Open to Change

Today was a very important day in the history of my church as we (the congregation) confirmed a new pastor, ending a transition period which lasted nearly a year. This time was a trying one in the life of the church as we prayed daily for God's guidance in our search, all the while continuing the mission which God has bestowed upon us as a group of believers in His word.

The way the pastor selection process works is not unlike many other types of job interviews. First a pastor search committee was formed, representing all sorts of different members. They then created a persona of the ideal pastor based on scripture and the specific needs of our congregation, which was used in identifying and narrowing down the list of potential candidates. Once this list was shortened to just eight candidates, they moved to cut the list to the top three. In a truly miraculous occurrence, all the members of the search committee ended up listing the same man as their first choice on their individual lists. Thus, there was no need to shorten the list, as the selection was unanimous.

This morning that man was invited to come preach to our combined service, after which we all voted yes or no, as whether to confirm him as our new pastor. With nearly a thousand people in attendance, it was again a unanimous yes. I'm very excited to have a new pastor and I know God is going to do great things at my church through his leadership, but I couldn't help but reminisce of our former pastor and my time at the church since I joined freshman year in college.

Change can come as both a relief and an unsettling thing. I suppose it can be unsettling because change implies newness and a new direction. Of course it can be either bad or good, but I think as fellow believers change is important in our lives. God uses it to alter our direction in life, to bring us closer to Him. Without it, we would be lost in the monotony of the boring and routine motions of life. It's like a ship that is sailing blindly through the fog when a light from a lighthouse appears amongst the mist. The captain can either choose to accept the change in navigation and correct the course of his ship, or allow it to continue in its present heading and risk ruin. So regardless of the situations surrounding change in our lives, let's always remember to keep it in God's perspective and approach it with an open heart. If we close ourselves to change, we close ourselves to His change in our lives.

Every Failure is an Opportunity to Grow

"We must expect reverses, even defeats. They are sent to teach us wisdom and prudence, to call forth greater energies, and to prevent our falling into greater disasters." -General Robert E. Lee

            If nothing else, life is a long series of challenges placed in my way like the hurdles in a track race. Without warning, the starting gun goes off and I find myself dashing madly down my lane towards the finish line. I look around and see other runners leaping over hurdles, growing closer to their goals with each swift step. Finally, I reach my first hurdle, but when it comes time for me to jump, I knock it over and fall flat on my face. It’s moments such as these that seem to me to be the most vulnerable, and I find myself questioning the course I’m on, questioning the way I’m running the race, questioning God. Strength in faith can be difficult when I fail and only foresee more failure in my way. But the Lord uses these times to grow love in me, for “…patient endurance leads to godliness. Godliness leads to love for other Christians, and finally you will grow to have genuine love for everyone. The more you grow like this, the more you will become productive and useful in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (2 Peter 1:6-8)

            Thus, instead of viewing failures for the shortcomings which led to them, I should instead focus on the ways in which God is using them to grow the character of my life. Just as steel must be melted down and hammered away several times to make strong, first must I experience my share of tribulations in order to grow stronger with God. At the same time, I must take confidence in that the Lord promises to give me the strength to get back up and finish the race, even if I feel that I am weak. He affirms this over and over again, “…God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finished…” (Philippians 1:6) “So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and in his good time he will honor you. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you.” (1 Peter 5:6-7)

            Dear Father, all things under the sun are in accordance with your plan, there isn’t a single detail which escapes your watchful eye. I failed in my endeavors, but I hold onto the trust that all things are for your greater glory. I know that you have a plan for my life that is integral to the plan of the world, for each life is as important as the rest. Therefore, I have faith in you that this stumbling block is but another step in the direction you wish me to go. I pray Lord that you would constantly lead me from this place in my life and give me the strength to carry on with what you have called of me. You have blessed me with my talents and these circumstances to do a greater good in your name. I just pray that your will would be done, Amen.

Leave Anger In Bed

"The greatest remedy for anger is delay." -Thomas Paine

            There is perhaps no more passionate an emotion in the whole spectrum of human emotions than anger. It can be a powerful motivator and it can be a wrath of terror, it can inspire me to do great things and it can also cause me to do terrible things by making rash decisions. While at first glance anger may appear to be sinful, it is not actually a sin in of itself; for even Jesus, God’s perfect Son, got angry at the sites he beheld on the steps of the Tabernacle. But His anger was a righteous one from heaven roused by the sin that He saw, and that is the key point. Are my angry thoughts centered on sin, or are they centered on my own selfish desires? If it is the latter, then I need to be mindful, for while being upset may not be a sin in of itself, it can easily lead me to do things which are not right. “Your anger can never make things right in God’s sight.” (James 1:20) “…for anger gives a mighty foothold to the Devil.” (Ephesians 5:27)

            This is why I have found that the greatest solution for those times that I am feeling angry is to take a step back from the situation and to ask God to fill the void. Oftentimes all that is needed is a little time and a little perspective. I can supply the time and if I only ask, God can provide the perspective. By going to Him in prayer when I am upset, He quiets my mind and puts my heart at ease. Sometimes I realize that what made me angry in the first place was foolish. Other times my temper was stirred for legitimate reasons, but regardless of whether I am wrong or I am right in my anger, God calls me to react in the same way: first with patience, then with love, and lastly with cheerful obedience. If I have patience before responding to my emotions and use that time to focus on God’s love, then I will be open and willing to obey what He calls me to do. For over and over again, the Bible praises those who can control (notice it does not say to live without) their anger, “Don’t sin by letting anger gain control over you. Think about it overnight and remain silent.” (Psalms 4:4) And this is what God typically leads me to do: When I am upset with someone, I try not to confront them right then and there about it: for how many times does the Bible warn me of my tongue? No doubt I am bound to make things far worse by saying something foolish and hurtful out of hate. Rather, it is best to request time away from that person in a friendly manner, and then spend it contemplating my qualms and praying for guidance. In this way, when it is time to make peace, I am in a spirit of forgiveness and understanding rather than one of anger and spite. I cannot say how many times I have gone to bed upset and angry, only to wake up with love and forgiveness in my heart after a night of prayerful meditation. God truly does provide the perspective if only I give Him the time.

            Dear Father, please work in my heart today. You know the things that upset me and that have upset me in the past. Please do not let me to act quickly in my anger, but rather to offer it up to you. Calm my spirit and help me to think straight. Tell me what to do through your word and through my thoughts. Give me a spirit of peace and a heart so full of love that I cannot hold any bitterness towards those who have wronged me. Help me to love them Lord as you have called me to love all. Help me to forgive or to ask for forgiveness. Help me to humble myself as you have called all to humble themselves before you. Please work in my life Father so that I am slow to anger and quicker to turn to you. In your heavenly name I pray, Amen.

Deceiving Myself From God's Vision

"The trite saying that honesty is the best policy has met with the just criticism that honesty is not policy. The real honest man is honest from conviction of what is right, not from policy." -General Robert E. Lee

            The other night I was lying in bed thinking about things in my life that ‘hang me up’ in my relationship with God. To be frank, I was trying to justify my sinful nature in His eyes, or rather my own. What I was really doing however, was deceiving myself into believing that what I was doing was ok. Since there are so many things that aren’t specifically mentioned in the Bible, it’s often easy for me to do this by thinking things like, ‘oh, I don’t know if God really thinks this is bad’ and ‘it may not be good, but it’s not bad either, it’s just neutral’. It seems that I can never quite convince myself that something questionable is completely right in God’s eyes: it’s impossible to cover up a deep stain on a white shirt. However, it’s not very difficult to just accept whatever sin it is as something in between, not good or bad, but neutral. I tell myself things like ‘God doesn’t really care one way or another about this’ and if all else fails, I chalk it up to my own naïvety of His true feelings on the matter. What I am really doing though, is lying to myself.

            I was running through this routine of self-deception that other night when all of a sudden a thought not of my own, came into my head: ‘If it is not good in God’s eyes, then it is bad.’ I know it sounds like a very simple thought, and it is really, but it was a revelation to my mind and at once, all my thoughts, all my rationalizations, all my self-deceptions came to a halt. Perhaps I truly cannot convince myself that it is sin in God’s eyes, but at the same time, I know that I cannot convince myself that He sees it as good, and if that is the case, then it is not good. God deals in absolutes; we’re the ones who muddy things up by pretending they’re grey. If we would only remove the filters of our deception, we would see that in reality, there is only black and white. It is either pleasing to God or it is not. And if it is not pleasing to God, then why would I want to do it? “Remember, it is a sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.” (James 4:17) It is time that I put down the blinds and accept the truth, for I should not just do right because God tells me to. This is not true to the Spirit and will always lead me back down the same path. Instead, I should be honest with God and honest with myself because it is my own desire to be after God. Only then will I be able to put aside the rationalizations and the lies, and instead focus on Him.

            Dear Father, I am in sin. I try to tell myself that I am doing right. I try to tell myself that I am doing no wrong. But it’s all lies. It’s all a clever deception wrapped around my eyes and keeping me from seeing the truth. Lord, please let me see your truth today. Speak it to my heart and be with me to keep this from happening again in the future. Give me your strength to overcome my temptations and fix my sight on the one true vision of your love and your mercy and your grace. Let that eternal light be my vision and not the darkness that surrounds me. I pray all these things in your name. Amen.

Not Letting Mistakes Distract From God

"A well adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous." -Alexander Hamilton

            I make mistakes, it’s in my nature. Even when I mean good and try my best with the best intentions, I still slip up every now and then. In every error there is a lesson to be learned, but even though I can learn it and try my best not to repeat it, that doesn’t change the reality that mistakes are bound to happen. So why then should I get so wrapped up in one or two of them? The fact is that what is done is done. God calls me to learn and to move on, rather than dwelling in the past and allowing it to consume me. Even Paul confessed, “I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection! But I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me to be.” (Philippians 3:12)

            The important thing to remember is that God is always there to pick me up when I fall down, and that He still has big plans for my life, even if it seems as if my mistakes are clouding the future. Only God knows my heart, and God knows that so long as I have faith in Him, He will provide my spirit with all that it needs. “The steps of the godly are directed by the Lord. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will not fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.” (Psalm 37:23-24) And so, why should I allow myself to get caught up in one error or another? Instead, I should acknowledge them and move on. After all, mistakes are bound to happen in life, and I’ve got a lot of living to do!

            Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for always being with me, even when I make mistakes. Whether they’re big or small, none are too big for you. You open my eyes and my heart with every new breath and fill me with the resolve of your Spirit. I pray Lord that when I do slip up, that you would be with me, help me to learn from my mistakes, and help me to move on, rather than allowing them to rattle and consume me. I just pray in this day Lord, that you would show me your way and bless me in all that I do. In your name I pray, Amen.

I'm Back

First off, I'd just like to apologize to all of my friends and followers for disappearing for a bit there. Over Christmas Break I didn't get to spend nearly as much time as I had wanted to on writing new devotionals, and I felt it important to focus squarely on classes the first couple of weeks this semester until I got a handle on things. I finally feel that my schedule has fallen into place, and now I am ready to resume! An important change I have decided to make to accommodate my schedule is to start posting new devotionals on Mondays and Fridays, instead of Mondays and Thursdays. Hopefully that works out. All I can say right now is how thankful I am to be here and I hope in this new year that the thoughts God lays upon my heart are somehow able to speak to you as well.